For the love of animals..
We here at Jolt love animals.. A lot.. A lot lot.. Not too much, but a lot. Well, enough that we started thinking about what kind of animal chewing Jolt Energy Gum makes us feel like. After weeks of thought provoking chewing, we came to the following conclusion(s):
The bottle in the water cooler is STILL empty, but it’s no one’s fault.. Jeff.
Jolt Energy Gum makes us feel like rhinoceroses. Rhinoceri? Rhinos? No, that sounds too much like a cold. It must be rhinoceroses.
Look at this monster. That is 3000lbs of unrestrained power.
Now, theoretically speaking of course, if a 3000lb rhino told you what to do.. You would do it. Would you rather be the rhino? Or the one being told what to do by the rhino? So we chewed another piece of Jolt Energy Gum. By this point, we felt like a rhinoceros outfitted with kr3-9J tactical armor (patent pending.) Full infrared scopes, heat seeking missiles.. Er.. I’ve said too much.
Disclaimer: Jolt Energy Gum will not turn you into a rhinoceros with kr3-9J tactical armor (patent pending.) If it does, keep it to yourself, we don’t need that kind of press. Beware of poachers.